if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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