She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
