Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize