He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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