ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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