U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
