Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
