I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
