We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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