chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
