everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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