did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
