We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
