can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
