He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im holly from the hills drunk
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
