My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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