Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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