I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
