Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
