Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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