She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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