I want to have your abortion
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
