you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize