he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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