i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if only i could text you this smell
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize