I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
