what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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