yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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