i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
