Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
