Small penises have feelings too.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize