i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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