So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He uses pillows to masturbate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
