We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
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She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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