also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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