so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
