I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
