yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
