Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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