she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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