Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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