Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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