Betty ford says i'm here all night
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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