im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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