i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
