R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize