soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
not ubering you a puppy
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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