I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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