I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
