Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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