My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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