I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
