I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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