I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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