dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
