Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can I color on your dick again?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
