Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
