It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
