am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
