yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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