where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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