i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
