So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
In America we eat man semen.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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