i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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