she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
