And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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