he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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