Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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