Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
