He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
