Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
