Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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