sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
